Not Looking, But Open - Really?

Photo by JKonig

In the name of love, if there's one sentence I would be okay with never hearing again, it's this one:
I'm not looking for a relationship, but I'd be open to it if it came along.

Especially if it's spoken by a woman over the age of 27.

It conveys a sense of, I could take it or I could leave it.  It's not that important to me.

I just don't buy it.

I don't know any single women over the age of 27 who wouldn't very much like to meet the love of their life.  So I don't buy that it's not important to you.  I don't buy that somewhere in the back of your mind or deep in your heart, you're not wondering how you're going to find this person, or sometimes even whether you're going to find this person.  Or maybe it's the big white elephant in your mind; that desire might not be completely in focus yet, but I believe it's there.

I'm not saying that every woman must want to find their life partner; I'm saying that I just haven't yet met one who doesn't.

So for me, "Not Looking But Open" reflects a disconnect between what you want and what you say you want.  And that disconnect ain't gonna help you find your special love.

What happens when you say what you want out loud?

Who would you become if you turned it around to, I am looking, and I am open?

RT - 4 Relationship Myths That Almost Everyone Perpetuates

I stumbled upon an interesting article in the HuffPost a few days ago, which I completely agree with.

Here's a quick summary:
1. Opposites may attract, but long term it's the fundamental things you share with a person that will keep you together.

2. A perfect relationship isn't one where there is no conflict.  A perfect relationship is one where both people have found a constructive way of resolving conflicts that come up.

3. Interdependence and independence are both important for having a strong relationship.

4. Communication is important in a relationship, but it's also possible to over-communicate: it's not necessary to hash out every single hiccup.

You can read the whole article here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-terri-orbuch/relationship-fact-or-fict_b_774976.html