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| Photo by Todd Ehlers |
I think it's a good basic blueprint for what's needed for a fulfilling life partnership (in addition to a spark - you know, that X factor).
Useful questions to think about when considering someone...
Things to be in sync on before you commit for life...
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Here are the questions that our spiritual mentor and officiant discussed with us as our premarital counseling. I thought you might enjoy seeing them.
1. Communication: Do each of you feel heard by the other? Do each of you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with the other? Do each of you understand the feelings and reasons for those feelings that the other person is sharing?
2. Leisure activities: What do each of you do for relaxation or change of pace? What shared activities do you have? What activities do you want to continue alone? How do each of you feel about the other's interests?
3. Styles of relating: What characteristics do you treasure in the other? Does your future spouse act in any way that troubles or embarrasses you? Do you respect your partner?
4. Conflict resolution: How do you fight? As a couple, have you worked out a means of solving problems and coming to mutually agreed-upon solutions in a healthy, constructive manner?
5. Commitment expectations: What expectations do each of you have about your making a commitment to one another? Are those expectations realistic? Do you have a mutually agreed-upon understanding of how you share responsibilities in your future relationship?
6. Family: How do each of your families feel about this long-term relationship? How do you feel about your own family and about your future in-laws? What traits of your family origin do you want / not want to bring into this commitment?
7. Money: Who earns the family income? Do you anticipate that changing? How will finances be managed in the future? Will you continue to have separate bank accounts, a joint account, or a combination of both? How will you respond to new job prospects for one or both of you?
8. Sexuality: Do each of you understand the sexual needs and desires of the other? Are both of you comfortable with your present sexual relationship?
9. Children: Do each of you want to have children? If so, how many? How will they be guided, and by whom? What about religious upbringing?
10. Values, religion, spirituality: Do each of you understand and support the other's core values, religious understandings, and spiritual practices? What are your plans for nurturing your individual and mutual spiritual growth and personal values?
Is there anything else you'd add to this list?
